The World and The Little Things

The World is a big place, we all certainly get that. What I and others may not seem to get is how small it actually can be. I have been living in Spain for two months (it feels weird to casually roll that off the tongue) and there have absolutely been plenty of times where I have have felt out of place, even unwanted I would say. Besides exploring Madrid, I have now been to Barcelona, Toledo, Mallorca, Córdoba, and Granada. Even then, there is still so much more to see of Spain. In Madrid for example, the majority of my classes are in Spanish and though I liked to think that I was going to be able to manage the language barrier there have been a plethora of moments where the language controls me. Our relationship can be hot or cold depending on the day and plus the native speakers that take my classes only make the frustration boil even more. What are you going to do though? I just nod my head and act like I am understanding I guess (picture a bobble-head), eventually I end up slightly getting it after some efforts.

I swam in the Mediterranean Sea after seeing La Sagrada Familia in Barcelona but then got charged 8 euros for bread and butter to my dismay and when I fumbled a little trying to argue with the waitress I was yet again, defeated. I went to Toledo with the rest of my BC friends and I got lost with my friend's host mother who just repeatedly kept saying, "Oh mi corazón," and grabbed my hands. In Mallorca I rented a car and hiked up a mountain where I nearly fell off into the bluffs more times than I could count. Córdoba was charming but not charming enough to satisfy my cravings with the thick tomato gazpacho soup we were served. And in Granada, I got lost again with friends after seeing La Alhambra and went deep underground to see where King Ferdinand and Queen Isabel were buried as the line smushed me up against the glass so much so that I saw my own breath.

I have talked about venturing outside the comfortable and I am sure a lot of people hear it enough too. Dad always told me that his best stories came from some of his most uncomfortable instances in life. That's what makes him and his childhood friends so close. They remember the dumb crap they got themselves into the majority of the time and thank those times for the lasting friendships and brotherhoods it left behind. As uncomfortable as this big, grand world has been on my adventure abroad I find myself stopping at times to think--to look back--to re-evaluate.

Again, I am taking the majority of my classes in Spanish and even more so, I am still taking them. I am surviving and I am improving. Because of it, I have made new Spanish friends and learned more than I ever have about the language itself. Sure, the majority of my new Spanish friends only started talking to me because I was incorrectly speaking and they wanted to correct me but still, it brought conversations and laughs to the table. I saw La Sagrada Familia and swam in the Mediterranean Sea in Barcelona with my college friends. Wow. When will I ever be able to say that again? I had someone else's host mother call me her "heart" and hold my hand while we wandered the streets of Toledo. I had barely met her. It was enough to bring a tear even from the most unbelieving in care and compassion. I drove up a cliff and survived the ride in Mallorca. I mean really, I dodged countless bikers and saw my life flash before my eyes in a few occasions but what is that compared to the fact that I drove up to the top of a mountain. And the view was what really took your breath away. Though the soup plopped a pit in my stomach and forced me to change my order, I got to sit in a one-of-a-kind vintage winery restaurant that had some of Spain's most famous and prestigious dine within its walls. And Granada let me peak at the remains of two of the world's most famous monarchs. I mean Christopher Columbus asked for this woman's permission to discover America. How is that for some history? Plus, La Alhambra was not too shabby itself.

Trust me, I know, the world is a big place especially when you take yourself out of the familiar--away from your friends--away from the place you call home. After reflecting on my travels and adventures so far I find myself easily basking in the things that went wrong. It is the ultimate trap, for that matter, the easiest trap to fall in. For some odd reason, we find it easier to point out all of the moments that went against our favor. It can come out like rapid-fire, especially if you are frustrated enough. It is okay though, I think it is human nature.

But more importantly, happiness is not human nature. Happiness is a choice, one that only you can make for yourself, one that only I can make for myself. I think of my Dad in times when things go wrong, when I fall flat on my ass in front of a crowd or end up spending more money than I wanted to without even realizing it. He chooses to look at an experience as a whole; all the memories of his adolescence, his marriage to my Mom, and his career. It is all one humbling novel of life to him. There were numerous moments of weakness, embarrassment, and failure but they are what shaped his experiences equally as much as the good times did. Our biggest laughs can come out of moments when we should be crying or we find ourselves smiling more than frowning upon the poor decisions we made in our past. The good and the bad make an experience, both will inevitably surface one way or another. It is whether we choose to be happy about it that we are left to control. The choice is yours. The choice is mine. That big bad world we like to talk about is not as big as we think it is. It is small enough to give us our own time and our own choices. The world is not our enemy, it is our friend--one that gives chance for life, adventure, and love. Do not choose to dwell on the bad moments but instead, look at the puzzle in its' entirety and stay grounded and collected. Embrace the good, the bad, and the ugly. And choose to be happy that you got to experience it all. Here is to a better tomorrow.

-M