Letters and The Little Things

Think about all of the letters you have received and given in your life, that includes cards and notes too. The list is probably similar among all of us. All of the cards for birthdays and celebrations, notes from Mom and Dad in our lunchboxes, and all the letters from friends and family that express their love for us. Phyllis Theroux has been known for saying that “to send a letter is a good way to go somewhere without moving anything but your heart.” For some odd reason, letters have impactful significance, one that is really hard to pinpoint. Some people prefer letters above all the hugs and kisses for different reasons, maybe because physically having the letter is most touching or because you can keep it forever. Yet, for me, I admire them for the devotion it takes to write them. Time is captured in a letter, no matter how long or short it is, writing takes the most amount of time than any other form of expression like hugging or kissing (and even the more private stuff sometimes). Letters collect emotion and in some weird way, make you feel the presence of someone you care about more than any other way possible.

This past week I was cleaning some things up in my room and a pile of papers fell and as I picked them up I found a hand-written letter from none other than, Mema. The mother of the famous O’Keefe sisters, wife to the amazing Papa Jerry, and a grandmother to 13 diverse grandchildren, Mema is quite the matriarch. Without disposing all of the words she wrote me, she simply expressed how much she missed me and closed with, “Sorry, I don’t even have a dollar.” I could not help but smile at the letter which I received about a year ago today and recognize how much Mema was embodied simply through her gracious and blunt writing. Her letter is a small symbol of what our family is grounded in, frank and unconditional love that never wavers. That is the beauty of love, no matter the disease that affects our body or the aging that makes our mind and memory weaker, love remains timeless. It is in letters that we witness this love reach beyond the paper—the words seem to whimsically bring love to life. Thanks for that, Mema.

For that little moment, I was encouraged to write to someone else I cared about, like a domino effect of words. I sat and wrote a letter to a friend that I had not taken the time to write to in a while. It was simple and touching, experiencing a little moment and then creating another one to pass on. It is a fulfilling familiarity when we can take a moment to read about how others observe and care for us and to then take the time to devote your thoughts to someone else. The culmination of letters is representative of how much we mean to someone and that is the most comforting testament of all. Letters are timeless because they convey how much one’s presence in life, their influence, and their story is enduring to this day. We piss ourselves at old yearbook passages that bring to life the crudeness and hilarity of some of our greatest friends, tear up at old cards that smell of grandmother’s clothes, and reference letters we wrote ourselves in the event that we forget our own styles of writing and need to refresh our minds.

Words on paper are delicate and should always be handled with care. As I have said, they remind us how much certain people mean to us and how much we mean to them. Yet, underneath the surface, letters and notes are little reminders of who we are and how we have changed. I look back at old valentines I wrote in 4^th grade, letters of apology to Dad when I got him mad, and the letters I still write today to keep relationships thriving. One of the greatest pieces of advice I ever heard was that when you are feeling the lowest, read an old letter someone wrote you or that you wrote yourself. The emotions we convey in those letters stop us from doubting ourselves in those bad times, re-instill us with trinkets of joy, and show us our worth. For that reason, never think you need to replicate someone else’s life because, as seen in many of our personal letters, many people try to emulate you. We are our own exceptionally different people and letters put that special uniqueness on paper. Letters would be fairly boring if the same person wrote them. So, highlight your individualism in those letters you write and smile at other people’s recognition of it in their letters to you. Phyllis Theroux, yes, our hearts are moved in letters but we should always remember that the heart is never the same one. Our hearts, memories, and attitudes are left behind in those letters as things to remember us by, even when we’re gone.

I recommend we make sure to be as off-beat, kind, funny, and loving in those letters as we can be. Maybe I should write the young and colorful Mema back, give her a little piece of me while I am away. Except, I do not think I’ll have a dollar either. I mean hey, I am the one in college here so Mema better provide some good excuses. I hope you enjoy re-reading some of those special letters and if you find an old dollar, I take donations. Here is to a better tomorrow.

-M