Instead of getting to play basketball with brothers, I
watched the Princess Diaries, rather than getting to play catch with my Dad,
he and I had to learn how to cook, and instead of yelling I endured more
crying. Women are unique, abstract, and difficult human beings, I can proudly
say that I believe in that, considering my house is primarily dominated by
women (Sorry, Dad but you know the feeling). As complex and crazy as they can
be, women are very near and dear to my heart. I can gladly acknowledge the
effects my mother, my sisters, my girlfriends, and even my Dad had on me in the
mix of all of this. He and I have endured and prevailed as we would say, but
in the end, I like to believe that we’re greater guys because of it. After all,
Mark Twain wondered, “what would men be without women? Scarce, sir…mighty
scarce.”
This past weekend, I was lucky enough to get a visit from my
mother and one of my sisters. After leaving Tori on campus, I got to spend some
much-needed time with the famous and frank KO’K. On Saturday morning while
sitting outside of the hotel on a bench, minding our own business, both of us
were interrupted by a young woman screaming at her husband outside of their
car. She was running frantically around the car in circles and cried, “Damn it!
You moron! I told you to grab the breast-pump off the chair. I knew it; I knew I
left the breast-pump on that ugly beige chair in the corner of the room! And
now, I got my sister calling me crying her head off.” And then moments later,
“Oh wait, I got it, put it on the front seat. So, lets move it and get your ass
in the car!” After they drove away, my mother and I could not help but look at
each other—pause—and incessantly laugh. To all the other families walking by us
to their cars--I apologize. To say that there were many characters that day in the parking lot
would be an understatement.
Once the laughing had settled, I could not help but think
about that woman and her husband simply because it reminded me of the dynamic
of my own family. Karen yells at Skip, he huffs and puffs, kids are crying in
the backseat, phones are going off and the list goes on. It was a moment that
allowed old ones to come flooding back. In my last post I said that
memories are like a diary that never stays closed. I second that.
But most importantly, it made me turn my head toward my own mother as she laughed
and her eyes watered, and recognize her for who she is. Of course, she is capable
of succumbing to hysteria and anxiety, but KO’K is quite the woman--one that never ceases
loving unconditionally nor change who she is at heart. She is her own perfectly
complex person, and she does not give a damn what anyone else thinks of it.
I shared a small, funny moment of observation that soon
turned into a little moment between a mother and her son. I can happily say
that I have an interesting family dynamic. I was raised by and with
compassionate, sensitive women and a simple, gracious father. Does it create
chaos? Absolutely. Do I like the chaos? Even more so. My sisters, my friends, my aunts, my grandmothers, and my mother are beautiful people. After
watching that woman and her husband in the parking lot, I recognized the impact
women have on our lives. They cheer for us in stands, praise us if we do well
on something, cry for us when times go bad, but love us no matter the
circumstance. They don't stand behind us, but beside us. Women are mysterious creatures and we cannot know everything they
do, especially when it comes to our mothers. But what we do know we can then at least find comfort
in. Mom (KO’K), you are doing great, even more
than great, and I love you every second for it. Mark Twain, I have no arguments
for you. Rather, all I can do is think of what my Dad says, “women—can’t live
with them, can’t live without them.” That is the truth. So the next time you
see your sister or a friend, give her a hug. The next time you see a girl yelling,
know it is out of love always, even if she makes you cry. Embrace all those little moments and embrace a woman's love, there is nothing like it. Here
is to a better tomorrow.
-M
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